New Cities/New Soviets

April 13, 2005

Feelings 2


"Mom, I want to be a sissy."

------------

When I was growing up it was faddish to have children with feelings.


"Free to be You & Me" -- that post-hippie sloppy love-fest of liberal pluralism, thinly
dressed as an album --

"It's alright to cry"

it's alright to cry/crying gets the sad out of you
it's alright to cry/it might make you feel better

and somewhere in all this
mush
is like a part where
the guy says
"sissies are the ones
who don't cry"


-------

My mom was pretty surprised at my statement, but I explained that when I cried at school people were mean to me, and the meaning of my statement started to come clear -- I didn't want to be a boy who cried.


Such an arresting moment --It's like I was speaking her Freudian slip!

I was opposing her commandment to be a , but using words which embrace her implicit goal, in fact caricature it.

It has the weird effect of "outing" her aims, but in a way that can always be plausibly denied any attribution to her. In other words, a perfect family story.


-------

Overall, thought, the strong sense was that if I was valuable, it was for my feelings. If there was a social use for me, it had to do, in one way or another, with sensitivity.

Within the family, this was usually coached in terms of kindness, but in the real world hurt follows pretty closely on the heels of that tired nag, and from hurt...

...anger.

Still, this is not to be confused with anger at other people. This is anger as a medium, a mode of social contact. A "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" kind of thing.

Critique, in this moment, is king.

(In high school I tried to be a prince of critique)

But then in '99
Columbine was king

(in '99 I was the exile)


Now -- feeling is not enough -- I want organization.

Posted by Sam at April 13, 2005 04:44 AM

build the new rev org

show what an org can do

Posted by: pink at April 14, 2005 05:37 PM

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