New Cities/New Soviets

September 04, 2004

Liars

I woke up this afternoon to an interview with Joel Klein, Mayor Bloomberg's "special apointee" to the position of Schools Chancellor, his coup replacement of the School Committee. Not one true word came out of his mouth, and not one straight response. He couldn't even answer the soft-pitch "what's the most important lesson you've learned" honestly. When questioned about the lack of checks and balances, he responded: "Well, there are still checks and balances. There's Albany, and, of course, there's the public." As if to say: and you're not casting aspersions on the public of this great city, are you. Ha ha ha. There are liars, and there are through-and-through liars.

I enjoyed watching Martha Stewart Living, because she was a through-and-through liar. It's a basic job requirement for the position of CEO, and Stewart's TV show was a chance to see exended footage of a CEO every day of the week. Here you could observe the first, most important rule of lying:

1) Immediately deny what is obviously true.

If Martha's hand were to wobble when she was icing a cookie, and she could be counted on to say "Look at how perfectly straight and even I'm piping on this icing." Every time. Same thing with Bloomberg. He announced yesterday what a fantastic success for the city the Republican convention had been, and issued offers to host both the Republican and Democratic Conventions in 2008.

Bloomberg is the best example of the next rule:

2) Affect annoyance at having to explain yourself at all.

Communication is by necessity a two-way street, so it is extremely important to make the people who you are talking to as uncomfortable as possible. Uncalled-for hostility is one of the best ways. It also helps to be so disgusting that you make people squeamish.

3) When in doubt, answer a question that was never asked.

It takes a disciplined line of questioning to break through this technique, and requires an unabashed willingness to make your interviewee look like a total asshole. Most of the press people who get to do exended interviews are chosen for their likeability, and, more importantly, their desire to be liked. You'll almost never see one of them tough enough to crack a determined liar.

Finally:

4) Displace the shame of lying onto the lied-to.

Pretend that it is an insult to suggest that the American public could believe a lie. 'Are you saying the public is stupid!' Honest communicators fall for this one all the time, getting tripped up in trying to extricate themselves from the blatant idiocy of this proposition.

Posted by Sam at September 4, 2004 04:14 PM

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