New Cities/New Soviets

June 18, 2003

Today, already

No luck getting to sleep. I got three hours/two REM cycles after work yesterday and that will have to do me. Thank God this is my Friday. Keeping my eyes on the prize will be important today. Otherwise intolerable states become managable if they have a fixed end-point.

Physically, I feel more dizzy than I should. Mol said it's just the way I'm holding the fatigue. True, but the real question is how to change it. I have been eating better this work-week: good breakfasts and whatnot. Usually my hunger helps me stay tight and high through job-time. At the moment, the thought of work without sleep is /ahem/ difficult. Ironically, my comparative advantage over my normal situation has thrown me off my game a little.

But there is my edge: I feel good in my viscera. Yes, I am starting to be sure of how today must be. Lying in bed earlier, I practiced a little Daoist meditation (called turning the light around): the eye's gaze turned back on the brain for a little targeted alpha wave healing (same as during sleep). I will stay with this: marshal the body's resources to keep the mind's strange drift uninterrupted. Hold on loose, son, but keep your hand on the tiller. Even now I feel the dizzyness wane...

Key points to hold on to: 1) We are not forced to work; the conditions under which we labor may not be our choosing, but work is our necessary expression, and that work cannot, finally, be controlled. 2) Coffee is good.

Posted by Sam at June 18, 2003 07:25 AM

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