scitz the kat strikes
quondam correspondent
sandwitchman: the elf of less hourdom
at max sprach
has a dpression era pastiche
that creeps me out
the chaps topes
seem to be too few
and too proto morphic ......
=====================================
THE FUNDAMENTALS ARE SOUND
by the Sandwichman
It's Friday in Tokyo and the Nikkei is down 2.4%
as the Yen rises to a 8-month high against the Dollar.
Gold hit a 26-year high of $728 an ounce
before closing at $721.50 in New York,
while the Dow Jones Industrial Average
"plunged" 142 points on Thursday.
It's time for the Sandwichman to make a prediction:
The stock market will not crash on Friday!
However, just in case it does,
below the jump is an improbable story,
told completely in headlines,
about a poor sandwich-man
who found a fortune in stock certificates
in a snow bank on Wall Street.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Sandwich Man' Restores $45,000
To Brokers but Goes Unrewarded
-----------
$1-a-Day Sign Carrier Finds Wallet
in Snow Outside Stock
Exchange and Gives It to Policeman
-- Owners of Stock
Think Recompense, if Any,
Is Up to Surety Company.
-----------
$1-A-DAY MAN FINDS
$45,000 IN STOCKS
-----------
Wouldn’t Keep Real Money Either.
-----------
Once Found $60 at Dance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
REWARDS SHOWER
ON ‘SANDWICH’ MAN
-----------
Finder of $45,000 Securities
Gets $105 Cash and Promise
of Clothing and Job.
-----------
WEEPS AT PRESENTATION
-----------
Surety Concern Also Will Give
Him $20 for Next 10 Weeks
-- Banker Among Donors.
-----------
Saw 'Sandwich" Man in Gale.
-----------
Surety Concern to Give $275.
-----------
Gets $25 More.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FINDER OF $42,000
'IN WALL ST.' NOW
-----------
' Sandwich' Man Lays
Aside His Boards to Take Job
as a Broker's Messenger.
-----------
EATS WITH NEW EMPLOYER
-----------
Trips to Haberdashery and a
Barber Shop Complete His
Busy Day Downtown.
-----------
Reports on New Job Today.
-----------
More Gifts Are Sent in.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'SANDWICH MAN' HELD
IN PSYCHOPATHIC WARD
-----------
After 'Look' at Him,
One Man Drops Dead
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LUCK BRINGS WOE
TO 'SANDWICH MAN'
-----------
Finder of $45,000,
Glorified for
Honesty, Is Deranged by
Sudden Affluence.
-----------
RICHER DIET MAY BE CAUSE
-----------
Doctors Hope for Recovery of
Former Derelict Whose ‘Look’
Killed an Associate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE TOO IMPROBABLE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SANDWICH MAN UNCHANGED
Tests on Greges at Bellevue Not
Yet Completed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DELUSIONS ENDED FOR
SANDWICH MAN
-----------
Finder of $45,000, Who Rose
to Sudden Riches and Fame,
Leaves Bellevue Today.
-----------
BUT DOCTORS ADVISE REST
-----------
Frank Greges, However, Says He
Is ‘Full of Pep’ and Wants
to Get Back to Job
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘SANDWICH MAN'
GOES HOME IN TAXI
----------
He Leaves Bellevue to 'Take It
Easy' on Rewards for His
Return of Securities.
-----------
PHYSICIAN GIVES HIM $5
----------
With This ‘Change’ in Pocket,
He Poses for Photographers,
Then Rides Off on $1.20 Trip
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘SANDWICH MAN'
RETURNS TO BEAT
----------
Greges Carries Boards Once
More After Touch of Fame
for Restoring $45,000.
-----------
PHILOSOPHICAL ABOUT IT
-------------
Has ‘Maybe a Couple Hundred
Dollars’ of His Rewards for
Honesty -- Snubs Farm Work
==============================================
pink stinger
story contains the sort of anti alger bathos ending
so beloved of 30's yellow journalism
and in revival
by
woodstock elfery
u can take the lump out of the lumpin brothers and sisters
but you can't take the lumpin out of the lump
then again i'm a silk hat fan any hooooo
my man godfrey and all that
beside
f these raggedy andy types
if they can't take
an elaborate practical joke
got a gripe???
hard luck
what's hard luck
but a loafers alibi
hell fire
lumps like him
oughta wake up each morning
toss yesterdays sports sectionover their head
and pray to
the great god mercury
we silkees
got enough sandwitch boards
to hang one on each of em
---------------------
talk about killer looks
howz 'bout a killer read
doc E-trode sez
" perhaps our
sandy here
needs to be
stowed away
in a nut back
himself for a brief refreshing spell
or is it just
r crumble type
pseudo scitz
merely
a clever
brother
to the real deal
Posted by pinky at May 14, 2006 05:21 AM