this is
an eve pass thru
meat's
latest enstallment
of
" behold a flying horse;
( a 60 year look back
at the studio/lab
creation
of
the pre/ pro /post
production con "
episode 23: the resurection economy
tease:
if the high 60's
saw the birth
of
the attack
of
the plastic clone shops
the 80's
became
the dawn of the dancing tomb - stones
======================================
sure sure sure
at one time
when horses pulled honey wagons
retail formats
took their name plate
reputations
very seriously
thats where the value rests
if there is any value
balance sheet
good will
retail ?
good will
thats the founder's metal
t
exactly equal to
the name plate
the fuckin up/ down
the peter meter
name plate recognition/respect
is theeeee
box score
and way back when
such
vintage
cost fuckers
time
u couldn't
built a REP
except up
over years and years
day by day
by word and deed
deed and word
good will spread its legs
but slower
then a nun
closes playboy
what a chore
even by spending large
even by
wall to wall local hypery
a performance story
can't get instant pettigree
so u worked till it grew ....
but
then came
the go go new fronteer
the dawn of
the instant success cult
the time when
corporate amerika
started rolling out
lab built
mad ave pumped
mega chains
but fuck
these mega chains
like the apollo project
were
super expensive
when the board room wanted
nothin short of
fast and furious
no time to get it rightfirst
no time to get the kinks out
you build the first one
and u clone
get a few hundred out there
but despite
marketing blitzery
not every synthetic
hit parade format
really wiggles like elvis
and so
people caught on
in the end
after a 10 year flight
the verdict went against
these bench built
clonery jobs
they all cost way too fuckin much
you had to build
and buy your sales
with
atomic bally hoo
and
what with every thing else
turning to vinegar .....
by the late 70's
only the mall-lords
were making money
splat !!!!!!!
and then.....
then ...
there came
a second thought
a thought
right
out of the tail pipe
of
the reagan revolution
his miraculous
re-animation
and preservation
proved to marketeers
one big truth
provided you act smart
learn to turn the right dials
stimulate
trhe right circuits
inside the minds
of the great american dumbo herd
you can take
an old
tomb stone
and
with the right
zips and zaps
have yourself
a fightin name plate
in no time
as alive
seeming
as the original real thing
maybe
even
more alive
-----------------------------------------------
yes
that was an 80's
brake thru
a CE decade IV
original
the first spring time
of
artificial
re-birth
the dawn of
timely resurrections
of the timeless
the hydra boys
forget
the from scratch
low 60's
fronteer format
george jetson shit
ditched the whole cloth build ups
blew the cob webbs
off venerable old formats
salvaged em
re animated em
and swined us with em
no more brand new gallaxies far far away
give me
a declining
old gal
with vericose veins please
--------------------------------------------
its the real thing....
as my pal claes oldenburg
once told
the marketing people at
roy rodgers
" better each stand
have somethin like
one fake
stuffed ball
of the real trigger
then 10,000
plastic replicas of....roy"
who gives a damn
about
some doodle like the burger king
or
darth vader
vintage baby vintage
hell how obvious does it have to get ?
didn't those swinging 60's guys
learn
anything at harvard b school ?
fuck
the catholic church
knew this shit..way back....
over 1000 years ago
fuck look at all
those
fake splinters of the true cross
"yup that is mary's last tampax"
see the line here?
now try to focus
solid gold replica
of whole things
fuck
they won't draw
nothin like
so well
as even the tiny-est piece
of.....
the real thing
and even better
heres the fine print point
a small piece is easy
to fake
who knows the authentic look
of a part
when even the whole
never really existed
do i need to give u the translation ?
famous name plates
have are all the reality
of the blessed mothers ......
so
go do the deed
re animate
a workable chunk
of what lies under
some venerable
mossed over
tomb stone
and zap the shit out of it
like
its
frankenstein's kidney
yes
just grab
some high klass
left over parts
some
tumblin royal husks
forget
how long gone
even if
now the fuckers
nothin but
a spectral projection
buy it
(long as its
at least able to support
a plausible
tale of past glory)
long as
at one time
cash customers
bought its bally hoo
as real
world beater stuff
as a legendary
status shop
a place believed
to have had
at one time
magical
selling powers
cause the rubes
wanta believe
in
sleeping beauties
wanta believe
down there
below that tomb stone
still waiting
to be drawn out
is a gleaming
sword of arthur
a wonder
only known by its legend
------------------
real legends :
here's a typical
mid 80's
mission statement
i found
that used to get waved around
by one VC name plate
reanimation crew:
" we take once exclusive
now moribund legends
and
ship a shops worth of it
to every fuckin main mall
in every fuckin
small potatos burgville in amerika...."
they made em show up
every where
over nite
like a case
of the measles
" yes aunt cunty
now you too
can experience
5th avenues finest..... "
ya 5th avenue's finest alright
finest
circa
" madge" truman .....
oh
and did this pattern ever travel well
from sector to sector
cloths
hats
jewelry
leather bags
sporting goods
candy shops
fur lockers
garden products ......
----------------------------------------------
here was the basic
road map :
build it out
cheap
but
make it look classic
never spend your own money
get the name on an option
and
build the proto shop
only
on paper
keep bricks and glass reality
for when
"its too late
to back out now "
but build
your spread sheet all the way
to the palace ball room
and build it
4-D
then go
blow a few VC types
show em
u got
a "can't miss
no matter what"
up front
easy pull out
trap door
bail out equipped
air tight plan
and its way
too big
for u alone
then once they buy in
comes the easy part
u both go
hold up a "bank "
key point:
steal all your
working cap
leave the cash drawer empty except for
a pile of poison promises
with the back kick
of a arkansas jack ass
once you got an equity line
start
splashing out the shops fast
like apple seeds
really
do it fast
" pon zu kia tat zu "
is the only way to fly
if you want
a for sure
short run
hot straem of
half baked
operating numbers
remember
if u fire a dead turkey
out of a big enough cannon
it comes out
fast enough
and climbs high enough
just like its a fuckin eagle
then quick as hells caddies
I P (fuckin ) O
set up your
cash OUT
and
as quick
as regulations allow
move on .......
"NEXT !!!!"
-----------------------------------------------
now thats the gold road
thats
winning founders medal....
happens
maybe once
or
twice a decade
a little more regular
is winning
silver...
especially as so often happens
" she "
develops a loud clink
way too soon
thats when
u try to get
the shitty little jinx box
gobbled by an old line
multi format
type set up
one thats lookin for
just such
a neat new shop show
to stage
out there
in about N
of their M zillion
ALREADY
leased
but empty
or
oughta be empty
mall and strip center
slots
----------------------------------------------------------
" meat
do ya offer the old school outfit's
mid managers
ahhh
deal sealing bribes ?"
well
thats agent/principle stuff
and a whole other story
but.........
to be up front about it
with ya
OH YES MY FRIEND
BY ALL MEANS
--------------------------------------------------------
but fuck
scorin fair play silver
is at best
a one in ten roll
and even laying
after tall tale type bribes
u're prolly
still no better then
a one in sixer
so
since
so many
must go
the lead balloon route
learn to pull out
your taste with suave discretion
too much
up front retainerfinders fee
moo moo
fast pass thru money
well there's federal cells
waitin for such folks
keep
the future projects
comin along faster
then u're taking it out
and when
u need to jump
to
the next ice cake
leave something for the clean up crew
that way
the "some" u keep
is always more
then the "all" you'll lose
oh
and since plans are
made by mortals
know on who and how
you can bury
the evidence
u know
lay down a nice paper trail
right from them
to any decomposing
stolen parts
is this clear?
if so
then pal o mine
u're ready to return to 1981
good luck
------------------------
the rest of this
is just for insomniacs
----------------------------------
interesting isn't it
that
no one till
the reagan Rev
dared
to confect
such fools magic
but its true
till "there u go again"
no one ever dared
to revive
a norma desmond type
name plate
but after reagan's rise to the pinnacle
it became
like
a daily duty
when anyone back then
in the mid 80's
presented
their golden egg moment
it was a variation on this ....
at power point presentation
there'd be a flash up on the screen
of the one word
" conservative "
and then guy would say
"now
there's a hoary old name plate"
back in 65
that meant...... "
he'd
flash up a picture
of
barry goldwater
in his flat top stetson
and geeky black rimmed glasses
"but by 85
it meant...."
flash up
of
ronnie's smile and wave ..........
yes YES YES
--------------------------------------
p.s
these are
moral meanders
out
of the last few enstallments
the making of a name plate
and
the remaking
of course
and the reviving
and the counterfeiting ...
and
the morphing
and the blah blah blahing
and the dot blah blah blahing
is it really that ....kold cut ?
no sis .....no
sure sure sure
things are mostly
fake
as minced pie
but
even now
some start ups
are still
one off
start ups
by shootin the works quixote's
gilder knights are real enough
just scarce
there's
a few guys like
in the old days
some still grow big
all by themselves
like acorns to oak trees
but face it
the spontaneous way
is wasteful
what
the brave new
hatchling studio systems show
is
all the loot
the old way
fuckin leaves out of
pot
all the sucker money
not ever put on the table
tons of
sweat and hope and trust
great for self worth
but
whats it done lately
for your net worth?
those old time
"my baby " type
start up companies
couldn't
properly "publicate "
themselves
there
wasn't the leveraged
the pot wasn't made sweet
wasn't made puffy wasn't made
can't miss swipe-able
no
forget the old way
forget
skippin yer own lunch money
start recruitin'
some
out to lunchm oney
some dumbo
chester the investors
got to get em
to lay
some extra green
on the table
doin it
the old way
the way before
" the creative process "
never got
the scam properly
capitalized
most honest injun start ups
bit the weeny in darkness
died all
alone
a lose
only to the founders and such
as in
a lose
out of
"made hard way
inside money "
a crooked ass dream
gone
before
even one sharpee
could make
an honest
hands clean
cheap
fast
and empty
buck
off its painful
descent
into oblivion
---------------------------------
not so glamorous gang
pps
the flavor
of all this hustle
may taste good
to yer
minds naive tongue
but
warning warning warning
don't plan on
makin
head way
with these vehicles
out there
in todays traffic
man
if u do
if you try
capturing
your outside clown's money
on the fly
with one of my recipes
like
its still
morning again in amerika
aaahh
well
plan on running
back up town
as
headless as the rhodian venus
no matter
how
you say itu won't sell it
in 17 seconds
these kap klub pirates
will have you strapped
to the conference table
and will be going
at u
with a circular saw
---------------------------------------
sounded good at the time
but 90%
of these vintage creepers
turned dixie
way too fast
if there's no pulse ..
not ever
then
u can't get enough out
up front
before the stink gets around
nope
not even enough
to set up
a harlem toe sucker
nope
wall street's
homeys
don't play that
no more
-------------------
god almighty
ain't it all just
so damn
hollywood
and remember
" even a trey
trumps the deuce "
---------------------------
thats
final words
so go to bed
bye bye suckers
--------------------------------------------------------------
next episode:
"the producers complex : sadly a fantasy"
-----------------------------------
Posted by pinky at July 16, 2005 07:57 AM
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