" go see a brokerage
about selling yer digs
and
watch uz...
while we try
quick flippin ya
into a sub maximo sale price
and why?
well
cause hey
its
just
another super sour part
of our full dis-service
market driven
trapanese bridge treatment
paradigm .."
the bloody red baron
of nassau now 2000
-----------------------------------------
some day
there will be klass based
unity
among the haus frau agentry
of home selling
but
til then we have....
only that lone sky hawk
herr baron popesqueau
===============================
thank you pink
for this guest shift:
here's the script
of a power point
i gave recently
to a gathering of
pissed off
lady
agents
------------------------------------
ladies
I welcome you all
at long last
to my den:
the baron's 'keep '
finally
u all can see
for yourselves
where so many
of
"my infamous
exclusive listings "
over the years
were
consumated
-----------------------------------
AND before we plunge ahead
let me confesssomething
that i know will come
as no surprise
to most of you
YES
MY DARLINGS
THE RUMORS ARE TRUE....
I WANT TO FUCK U ALL
---------------------------------------
but first things first
and first here means
FATTENING
U ALL UP SOME
on
A LITTLE
factic fodder
===================================
i've taken
these bits at random
from
the nyt
feb 2005 :
" US housing prices
still rising "
" home real estate
a national obsession "
" Sales of homes and condominiums
reach an estimated
$2 trillion
in 2004"
-------and my dears
isn't
right about here
where you and I come in .....------------
" The industry couldn't function
without the armies
of agents who help
buyers and sellers
reach mutually agreeable
terms "
----- yes 120 billion in commissh
and for whati say
for what ?
right -----------
" generally they collect
a hefty 6 percent commissions
for their trouble"
----------------- "they"
what garbage
" we"
if we're lucky
keep at best
half of the lower half of that haunch
am I right ?
and there's so bloody many of us
we're snappin at pure shit
like sharks
at a minnow roast
am I right ladies..?
of course
I 'm right.....
but what of our
lordz and masterz
what of
'dah big bad snake
charmers demselves...
dah infernal
u can take yer portion now
sister or
leave it all for me
skin-brokahz'
whats their rake off the take ?
i'll tell ya what they rake
they rake
the upper half
the better half
the creamium filled
half
and for what service rendered
gals ?
do i here nada ......?
exactly --------------------------
------------ but now listenclose
as
The Time's
main man moves in
on a " NEWS BLURB " ------------------------
" a recent study
by a University of Chicago economist
suggests
that home sellers
should regard agents
with some caution."
--------- my my what milk-toast
we have here
thats yer best shot
mister big time Times reporter
REGARD US AGENTSV WITH
'some caution'
'some caution'?
PLEASE !
SPARE UZ YER PATHETICALLY TEPID
SPLASH IN THE FACE !
try this
try
'sellers should regard agents
as the devil familiars '
NOW THAT
YES
THAT WOULD CUT
THE BLOCK OPEN SOME
the ass hole innocent
DUMB AS ST PETER
greed head sellerS
YES THEY
oughta 'regard' uz
WITH FEAR AND TREMBLING
REGARD US
from
the far end
of a sharp fucking
6 foot sABRE
am I right ladies?
of course I'm right
and why ?
well lets wait on that one ...
to resume ...
------------------------
" This study suggests
housing markets remain
inefficient"
----------- 'remain' inefficient?
' remain '
hows a fucking
'increasingly' inefficient
sound ---------------
" and the incentives
for agents to maximize profits
for their clients
aren't powerful enough"
------------ amen
you can say
that again brother rat -----------
"the author of the study
Steven D. Levitt
iz
a self-described "rogue economist"
who has applied
the analytical tools
of his trade
to everything
from sumo wrestlers
to drug-dealing gangs "
"his work is cataloged
in the forthcoming book
"Freak economics "
---------
don't you despise
this snazzy wazzy
rubber duck hype ladies
my god i sure do
after all
what are we reading here?
i mean really
girl friends
aM I that wrong?
is it that off
the square
for me
to expect
the fucking gray lady
at least
not
to try shootin
fucking puff balls
at me
like
she's
tony tataloni's
hollywood helium gun ?
but i digress...
----------------
" Professor Levitt
discovered evidence
agents weren't working
' solely in their clients' best interest'"
-------------- jesus and jehovah
not soley ...----------------
" Professor Levitt compared
data on homes that agents sold
on behalf of others
with those
that they owned
and sold for themselves "
--------- why the bastard
and to think...-----------------
"levitt analyzed sales
from 1992 to 2002
and
after controlling
for amenities, location
etc etc
he found
that agent-owned homes
on average
stayed on the market
10 days longer
and commanded median prices
that were 4 percent higher
than comparable homes
owned by clients."
" The professor concluded
that poorly designed incentives
bear the blame."
"Real estate agents
have a better sense
than others of the best price
a home can command
But when they work for others,
they don't have
the financial incentive
to pursue it."
---here at long last
for any one
who's actually
read this far
is the meat course --------------
" Most home sales generate
a 6 percent commission
split between the brokerage firms
representing the buyer and seller.
The agent generally receives
half of the firm's draw,
or 1.5 percent of the sale.
So if a home sells for $500,000,
the agent personally receives $7,500.
Not bad
for what may be just a few days of work.
If the agent works
for an additional week
and urges the seller
to hold out for $515,000,
that's an extra $15,000
for the seller,
but only an extra $225 for the agent.
Because every additional dollar
throws only a penny and a half
into the pocket of the agent,
the agent may push clients
to accept lowball offers."
-------------- the prosecution
rests its case your honor
but not satisfied
with the cold feel
of reality's
starkness
hear yee hear yee
try on thiz
final up beat
goodee two shoes
horse feathering ---------------------
" sellers, empowered by the Internet
are eroding
agents' advantage "
" Sites like Realtor.com
and domania.com
allow anyone to survey
the market and check out
neighborhood price histories"
----proof? here's levitt....------------
" From 1992 to 1995,
in the days before
such sites existed,
agents' homes commanded prices
that were 4.9 percent higher
and stayed on the market
more than 14 days longer
than equivalent other homes."
-------------okay ----------
" But from 2000 to 2002,
a period when such sites
came into popular use,
the margins shrank to 2.9 percent
and 2.5 days."
---------lesson to draw --------------
"As consumers become
more comfortable
with the idea
that they can price
their own properties,
times will get
tougher and tougher
for real estate agents,"
------------ and its happenin
big time already
at least
so 'proves '
Professor Levitt's
recent study -----------------
================================================================
Posted by pinky at February 21, 2005 04:57 AM
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