top secret authentic last draft ==================== THE BAMBOO NETWORK THE REAL STORY BEHIND THE WORLD WIDE CURRENCY FLUCTUATIONS of 1997 in retrospect it’s remarkable how few international money traders played around with the story back while it was happening but they didn’t they let it slide you might have thought maybe they’d really savor a wild ass story like this one after all one of their best loved apres market activities is “rumor humping” taking snatches of the latest bizarre trading gossip and blowing them way the fuck up anyone oughta be able to appreciate how guys like that might crave a little senseless off hours paranoia now and again considering what the hell they’re up to you try doin maybe a few 12/7’s in a row on the trading floor you try risking both your little round one’s plus all some big devil’s brightware on the next tick and tock of one hundred fifty exchange rates but then again maybe these particular stories were just too bizzare maybe way too bizarre maybe they lacked that telltale whiff of the plausible that catches the experienced traders fancy maybe it was all just too far beyond the fetching point even for that sick batch of patch eyed money pirates at any rate their non=response their indifference their boredom kept this story from spreading thru the larger world of the biz press and of course it never never reached all the way out to where we regular rubes roam so as it worked out the story fizzled away r rinside that whacked out insiders wonderland only now ...... almost 6 years later we get its retell and only as collateral fallout created by pyongyang’s rejuvinated nuke em projects thats right its not because money markets are turbulent again they’re not in fact they’re calm if weak dollar ahead fears and thrills may be mobilizing some where on the horizon still the markets are “ one last gust from the doldrums” no “ red money ray” rumors are spreading again because they make a nice spooky sidebar to the latest installment of that ghastly farce we’re all being subjected to: “ ya-nuke: gook of the north ” ------------------------------- look fans ain’t it so? i mean every time you happen to tune in the news its “ here come dah gook nuke here come dah gook nuke ” god knows why but sure as hell has this scarzilla got story legz its been months but this silly north korean “we got plutonium” thriller keeps playing to packed houses yep all things red korean are hot stuff right now so this weird money flip tale finally iz headed towards its day in court well maybe.... ========================== what about north kimville is so wrong anyway? surely its the oddest of odd outfits this nonmuslim third panel of PREZ W’s axis of evil a cold war remnant way whacky A “ FLINTSTONE SOVIET ” totally out of place in this new 9/11 age lets face it of the various candidates for a hit list Crawford style possibly none could make less sense then the DPRK stalinist dangling remnant wanted dead or alive for real? i doubt it . the DPRK the real “it” state ? the one way beyond Iraq or Iran yes the real redhot monster crew ? on W’s shit list the real hot one not just for the moment a hot and fuming security enigma ? please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 as far as whats cookin on the threat board north korea is the comic relief given whos in motion these days given whose actually behind the global terror siege civilization is under i ‘d say we need to deal with a few arabs first but hey listen i got a story here and maybe for the first time since ‘97 itself someone may listen to me about it all i can say is its about time ============================== for a reporter like myself who’s been trying like the living devil to get my DPRK story out with absolutely no success ALL THIS SHINOLA about the north korean nuclear threat is a wild frustration believe me their nuke program is just a a way to get some hard currency the bottom line is “ the inner circle ” up there needs hard money its all about the hard money all about being hard up for hard cash show me the hard money get it its a shake down plain and simple they know its a coffin ship theyre running and they want some sporting lettuce and theyre ready to do whats necessary to get it hell or high water Enough said story told end of news flash which puts YOU AND ME right where my story hooks in theres another wing to the hard money black mail program call this one the financial menace wing yes ladies and gents to go right along with the DPRK nuke ya nuke ya kim jong il’s ian fleming netherworld diabolique has got another “ watch what i can do to ya if ya don’t cough it up big time and soon ” its his top secret currency disintegrator ======================= for years now too many of my friends too many times yap some shit at me like “hell pak man if all you say is on the square why doesn’t anyboby listen to you ” then what else they laugh like apes i’ll admit i’ve been on a shameful progress started wayback when back in 1997 when all my savvy press brethren ho hummed back to oblivion this story “ come on pak try urban legend here man a secret globe girtling red korean money mayhem maker ?” fuck em they ‘re all wrong dead wrong i jumped right in why not ? after all wasn’t it my story win lose or draw who had my jump on it ? shit a native Korean reporter who until that very time had been the less then practical possessor of a totally career useless degree in computational mathematics to a guy like me a guy sure he was a man of destiny just waiting on that destiny’s sudden arrival what can I say ofcourse this story had to be something beyond the usual it was history calling me calling me the one guy with exactly the perfect blend of talent background and profession this was my fireball my big brake story for sure for sure and besides didn’t i have hours and hours of worth nothing time on my hands what was really at stake here besides my dignity so between my beat time walking the corridors of the manhattan money market I tried some off duty digging lets be clear about this ============================== as i indicated at the top stories crazy stories swirl around money exchanges like leaves on a october football field and though its not an every day deal just the same claims about super secret mechanism capable of interventions that can set off bearish or for that matter bullish runs on particularly targeted national currencies well they’re really nothing special however and heres the point rumored systems so powerful so inexorable so shockingly unexpected as to conjure runs so sudden so ruthless and so frenzied as if some wrathfull all powerful god were pounding a wayward nation into credit crap or on the other hand showering a chosen one with golden platted mana such stories are rare indeed and mostly they are scoffed at and this makes sense ofcourse given the ultra long list of corner and dump schemes that really have occurred over the years but artificially induced currency runs so powerful that they can actually submerge an entire economic region of the earth under a veritable red sea of long term financial devastation these according to convential wisdom can not occur they even have a joke name for them they call them “ atlantis makers “ ------------------------------------------ an organization with the power to induce an atlantis effect if possible well as one vet told me “ thats Promethean stuff a theft of devine fire ” and on top of this to discover that this prometheus resides not in Manhattan or London or Zurich and that the ceo of this outfit is not named SOROSor HUNT or BARUCH but INSTEAD IN ACTUALLY the face behind this faceless system the face controlling everything is the face of a “ poof topped wacko ” the son and heir of the last holder of the “stalin belt” a mythic red asian fey- dictator the hood ornament of the very last stretch of cold war territory on this planet well......... to say the least such a picture has a noticeable credibility gap to leap over so maybe thats why the rumors never took -------------------------------------- during an actual crisis no one has time for anything you’d want to characterize as a thought its all spinal action like a kung fu routine when markets turn turbulent and huge unexpected happenings come at them out of the bushes like mad rhinos these money guys’ll don’t have time anyway long enough to even know they need to sublimate their moments into a twisted joke ------------------------------------------------ “ i guess it just didn’t dance “ 1997 was indeed a very WILD AND FRIGHTFUL time huge spasms wacked global currency markets through out the year after the thai blow out there was korea indonesia malaya russia brazil isreal one after the other bang bang bang “ the forest was dry the flare ups everywhere “ yet all during that year between the shock waves at one trading shop or other all over the planet ultra re scrambled versions of the bamboo network tale kept popping up but each place only once and gone on to another floor in another country it had legs but no staying power and yet even now mention it and you get a recall from the traders its at best a tickle but the trace remains “oh ya i remember hearing something like that” but impact? “ nnnaaaaaahhhh” for all the traders i talked to that were around back then seems the stuff just ran right thru them like a barrito lunch fact is if rumors are to become stories they need more then a one off transmission like this got the material needs to iterate pass by several times and each time get worked up more regurgetated rechewed etc etc with these DPRK stuffers the bits just didn’t keep re -happening they swept across the floors and were gone without so much as a second embellishment gone faster then yesterday mornings dyke joke ==================== (flash back) oddly enough that first version of the story I’d heard was a piece of pure luck I was assigned to the manhattan bureau but i happened to be back home on vacation back in southern cal it was at of all things a familly reunion of my mothers clan the Rhees all her vast array of relatives “deported” to southern cal by the promise of “ mighty bucks” everyone of them was there i happened to be chatting UP my uncle Il about my new job uncle Il is a big chain puller he was AS HE WOULD SAY “ gin high ” and yanking me something terrible a typical familly shame admonishment “well jimmy no big scoop yet” “two whole years not even a loud fart” my uncle Il by the way can walk the walk he’s hands down the whole clans greatest success story you may well know him by his bizness persona he’s that strange little oriental man you can see sometimes late at nite on back cable channels the one dressed and bearded up like the revered confederate general the one hucking and jiving and calling himself robert e rhee “ owner and founder of rebel yell the weed worlds worst nightmare ” he markets a line of household garden products imported from indonesia mostly i mention this only because my uncles line of bizness over the prior few years had afforded him his own independent sources for the rumors about the norths secret system sources completely independent of the trading world my uncle’s version of the story came thru a group of south korean commercial agents working on behalf of the north korean government they’d gotten together with my uncle on a joint private sector bid to help their estranged “commie” brethren with the intractable agri crisis then lashing the vulnerable “ little people” of the north “ good for PR ” my uncle liked folks to believe he smuthered his heart in calculation ------------------------------ back to the clan bar-b -que after he’d fried me a little in my nothingness uncle IL popped up with this ....... “well then i guess if you got nothing good of your own heres a head scratcher for you” he proceeded to reel in his tale it was fairly orderly all the big points as far as i know now he had right but among other highlites he mentioned some you will see he got totally wrong “huge banks of cheap used pc type computers and some”incredible equation system” invented by “ a single familly of mathematicians” “all diiffy q type stuff” classical analysis “real off track” but they had come up with an equation system that could do for currency forecasting what the national weather bureau “ cant even do for hurricanes ” and ‘ those pine cones up at stanfords geophysical bureau cant do for our stinking california quakes” there was some gin fueled rapsody thrown in too of course “imagine jimmy a group of skinny butted korean block heads ” using out of date 19th century math they did this they cracked open the worlds money jar” he told me that according to his souces the system could accurately predict “breaks ” (whatever that meant) in the chain of currencies and far enough ahead of time to guide covert interventions “ a system able to activate in a flash a vast globe wide network of unknowing stooges” “ big time players ” that would never imagine they were acting “ as shine boys for the red gooks ” “ best of all it would all look normal no one could dtect the fluxes were not by chance but by design ” my uncle was very impreesed by the duping “ my lord jimmy they skunked some high fliers guys able to register a force a clout shit ...” “ could anyone ever before in the money changing game or any other financial game have ever pulled something this big before?” “ jimmy hink of it so complexly woven into the fabric of the markets themselves that detection is impossible !” interestingly he said nothing about the role of the DPRK’S MONEY GUN in the crisis of 97 apparently his sources knew nothing of how real the tale was and that its handy work lay out there in broad day light in the rubble left behind by the 97 collapses that nearly destroyed all of the asian tigers -------- -------------- now you know near enough all of what i know so my job is done despite the title of this piece ( a title by the way thrust apon me by that common hassard of my profession a hyped up editor ) its fair to say you still dont really know what caised 97 what caused that crisis wave that premonitory spasm of the real big one out there and yet to come well join the club after my fiveyear full time staff assisted investigation even today as I sit here typing this at my computer Ican’t claim with even a shread of good conscience that I posses any larger truth about all this all I can do with absolute certainty is what i have done here already point you in the direction point you to where that whole truth lies some where inside COMMUNIST NORTHKOREA about whatever really goes on there or whatever their secret system can actually accomplish I can only say for myself and I feel certain for anyone else stuck like me on the wrong side here trying to look in there what my uncle said “jimmy let me tell you we only know enough to know we need to know more a lot lot more before we dare say we know anything” and here’s the real problem heres what ought to get your heart pumping i haven’t you havent we havent the slightest idea when or where this socalled bamboo network will flash on again when 1997 will come round the corner a second and bigger time for now all we can say is there it rests coiled and waiting behind its curtain sinister and monstrous poised and ready formed by conditions totally alien to our own by a way of life beyond our grasp the next big strike ? what kind of world wil there still be afterwards ? this to me seems as unfathomable as the trumpet blast of endtime itself --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lets be clear about this as i indicated in my lead stories crazy stories swirl around money exchanges like leaves on a october football field and though its not an every day deal just the same claims about the siting thru the numbers of evidence of of some super secret globe girdling moneyexchange mechanism capable of interventions that can set off bearish or for that matter bullish runs on particularly targeted national currencies this is nothing special however and heres the point rumored systems so powerful so inexorable so shockingly unexpected as to conjure runs so sudden so ruthless and so frenzied as if some wrathfull all powerful god were pounding a wayward nation with crap or showering a chosen one with mana such stories are rare indeed and mostly they are scoffed at and this makes sense ofcourse given the ultra long list of corner and dump schemes that really have occurred over the years but artificially induced currency runs so powerful that they can actually submerge an entire economic region of the earth under a veritable red sea of long term financial devastation these according to convential wisdom can not occur but to imagine an organization with the power to induce one thats Promethean a theft of devine fire and on top of this to discover that this prometheus resides not in Manhattan or London or Zurich and that the ceo of this outfit is not named SOROSor HUNT or BARUCH but INSTEAD INACTUALLY the face behind this faceless system the face controlling everything is the ineffable face of a poof topped wacko the son and heir of the last holder of the stalin belt a mythic red asian fey- dictator hood ornament of the very last stretch of cold war territory on this planet and that it wasconceived nurtured and hatched in complete secrecy behind what used to be called the darkest red north Korea such a picture has a noticeable credibility gap to leap so maybe thats why the rumors never took -------------------------------------- as I WROTE EARLIER usually strange , out of left f ielded type rumors propagate fast and far among currency traders they’re a rumor thriving lot in the best of times and when their markets turn turbulent and huge unexpected happenings come at them out of the bushes like mad rhinos these money guys’ll believe anything anything at all for 15 minutes anyway long enough to need to sublimate it into a twisted joke 1997 was such a WILD AND FRIGHTFUL time huge spasms wacked global currency markets through out the year russia brazil indonesia bang bang bang yet all during that year ultragarbbled pieces of a most strange tale kept popped up around the trading floors all over the planet despite the wide spread “oh ya i remember hearing something like that” you can still get from traders that were around back then apparently the stuff just ran right thru them fact is if rumors are to become stories they need more then a one off transmission like this got the material needs to be worked up regurgetated rechewed with these bits it just didn’t happen they swept across the floors and were gone without embelishment gone faster then yesterday mornings dyke jokePosted by pinky at August 27, 2003 01:04 PM
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