House of Paine

a race worth a shit

as you watch our two champions
lope around disney nation
claiming

" yes mable 
sky hooks really do exist "


consider this

things could be a lot better

like they are in

say 

                 the ukraine 

=================




kiev on don

republic of ukraine 

september 23 

--------------------


till early this month

he was the leading 
oppostion candidate
                      for president

" a golden  orator 
  
 tireless tribune of the people

             and 
        afghan  war hero "

but all of a sudden

 he's 

" wobbling around
        and 
          talking like a punchy fighter"


what happened to 
this 
" miracle man of the steppes "

" spell  binder"

"  last best  friend of the little guy "

 the man
who was fearlessly
    mounting  
       a bold  challenge 
               to the status quo here 

until suddenly.....

now 
after the events of this past month

the big question has changed 
from

"can yushchenko pull it off ?"

to 
 

"what the hell happened to viktor?"



 and this past week 
the questions
seemed  only to  get 
 deeper


but lets go 
back first

back to 
 the  6 th of this month

on that day 
as polls showed him 
taking  the lead

viktor yushchenko
the come from no where
 candidate 
for  president 
disappears
from the campaign trail. 

the first news 
of his where abouts?

 that only  
 comes  a full week later

apparently
he has been
" in Austria"

 recovering 
from what aides
 initially 
thought 
was a very unfortunate
case of 
"acute food poisoning" 

but 
according to them
turned 
out to be something far darker
 
 "an attempt on 
yushchenko's  life"

details?

allegedly
 quoting

"doctors
 in Vienna"

they claim  
yushchenko's
 illness was due to 

"chemical substances 
not normally found 
in food products."

i.e.
 intentional poisoning


 At a rally
 upon his return
 to Kiev last  week 
 Mr. Yushchenko's face

according to radio free europe

" was swollen 
       and half-paralyzed"

  he   had

"difficulty reading his text"

 and was

" salivating excessively."

President Leonid Kuchma 
 who is backing 
Mr. Yushchenko's  main opponent

 laughed off
these  accusations 
of foul play. 

as 
if 
leaving it at that
wasn't quite enough
 
kuchma's
 deputy head 
of  administration
 went a step further
suggesting
 that in the future
maybe 
 Yushchenko's aides
 should taste
 his food for him 
as aides used to do 
for potentates
 in the Middle Ages.

whilst
on another front

state controlled tele vision
yesterday
waving off
earlier  claims 
that 
Mr. Yushchenko
may  be 
perminently
"mentally impaired"

asserted

quoting inside sources

that 
 the whole incident 
 was

" faked 
  just  a stunt
             an  election run hoax."

------------------------------------------

now thats hard ball 

========================