===================== a meat me post special on the latest hearings of the new unamerikan activities committee ==================== so we finally got that shitzoid dung fly brother soo- she- me aka ken burns here's hiz answer to a few committee questions ---------------------------- the hearing was conducted over a series of conference calls in late august between the committee and burns apparently burns was in the midst of " production" on his latest pub tv proffer "tower terror USA" ------------------------ over a phone? not face to face? so what " guys like that never show at a show down " ok so we gave him the howard hughes option and hey for once with this transcript we get some of his chronic shit out there on the public record no broadway buddy Rose 69 session ============================ lets pick it up after THE CHAIR PERSON JAMSTER MCQUEEN had softened his guard up some with a few well chosen butter nut "leggo my mau mau " moments " well ken its its really an astounding "ouvre" ......... yet lets not start too far into the testimony....... -------------------------------- heres me presenting myself as INDIGO JONES some black faced super inside equal opportunity fuckin american studies kramp I MENTION THIS JUST TO FLAVOR YOUR SENSE OF HOW WE BAITED MISTER MYSTY BURNS like saying thru our mole in his shop that dear Jamba IZ " known to be " ass cheek by jowl with the peabody award panel my "JONES' vitae includes... " a tenured co-fellowship in film and photo history at the LAWRENCE E ROCKEFELLER school of design " ---------------------------- transscription line 93 jones : no mr burns thats indigo not indiana indigo.... jones indigo now then if as you say the diane sawyer story about you and ricardo mantlebaum is a gross falsehood well then is it then also not true that you are today totally and irrevocably impotent burns: waw waw what ! jones: in point of fact mr burns haven't you been impotent ever since the night in october 1989 when shelby foote winked at you " the wrong way " burns waaw woow jones: and wasn't it a a slow teary eyed wink mr burns a come hither wink tossed your way after you kold bloodedly encouraged the poor make believin' fool hadn'y you blandishe hadn'y you let him sadly linger long after others departed in fact ply would not be out of place as theat absurd self ceationand drank too deeply from a quality bottle of bourbon a bottle you mr burns gave him ? kenneth t burns : uuuuuhh thats thats ..where'd you hear such a ... thats thats none sense jones well i think the records pretty clear on this but at any rate we can move on the committee has far to go before it rests ( heres me as one chow chin wee author of my balls are baseballs oh no no mistah jones have forrow up jones: yes of course mr wee sorry just one more question in thisss gen rul air rear mistah brrrunz rumors oft repeated rumors we all hear rumors aaahhh repeated and vouched for aahhh by blood oaths that rou mr beerunz have never in roar hoe rife satisfied any one szex rurry at reast any one feem-rail and that rou're not ronry a renowned quick shot rartist but roar cursed aahh wid aaahh one lound onry bed muskrit burns thats thats.. good lord I I I... I refuse to answer that ..... why why such such uh uh uh ...... what could my my sex life i i i .... what could any of this line of questions possibly have to do with... why uh uh uh .....( click) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ later after a reconnection a patented shmooze or two by jama jama and some pretty damn fine soft soapin by yours trully as co chair mel brillberg " their both gone mr burns disgrace ful if we had onlyknown that jones was was a fraud an imposter not even african american and the one calling himself wee no one seems to know how he got on the committee its quite embarrassing really seems he was was a a a common street mime '" -------------------------------- such-ly we got ken boy goin again here's startin at resumed hearing line 236 me as red badger lakota medicine man now mr burns if that is true if the last fronteer is a theme a subtext that runs thru all your work..... me interupting myself sucse me scuse me chief aah mr burns this is babe murcheson here whats this crap we hear about a a a creature known only to u as aaaa the devil bug tryin' to run you over recently burns: umm whaw me as the chief go ahead answer the question if you will mr burns m,r murcheson has been generous enough to grant our committee 10 million do.. cut the crap chief go on answer will ya kenny i'd like to hep ya out here burns but ahh well yes thats true murcheson more then once? burns: yes yes more then once jmurcheson : sheeeet chair person jammbowanga could you share with the committee these events in order of occurence if you might burns yes surely ummm about two months ago after a series of bizzare highly threatening e-mails murcheson ah mr burns would those be the ones accusing you of sleeping with the late walt whitman and imprisoning for the purpose of torture run away slave boys burns yes incredible as it seems like a time warp or something this guy signing himself as "the devil bug" acts like i can time travell murcheson time travell you mean like doctor who? burns ya a a yes so afet months of this e mail bombardment i mean tens of thousands of e mails he he he actually went after me physically after me tried to run me over in in this weird old uh uh ranchero type aztec red pick up truck me as the chief go on you know mr burns a few details burns : oh ah ya well i was just crossing thru parking lot near my bank back in brattleborough vermont when this pick up truck comes roaring out of an open garage door right there in front of me and ..... jchief red badger : what did you say he was driving a what? burns a a a a ranchero mercheson how'd you know it was a ranchero to me most pick ups look like other pick ups so how'd you notice that it ... burns well thats thats easy this pick up was different it looked weird it was weird not like a regular pick up these rancherors i've since come to find out were a 60's thing like a formal ten gallon hat like john connolly used to wear be4 he went bust these things were kinda station wagon pick up truck hibreds all s fancied up low and sleek cheerfully colored usually pastels though this one was bright red you know like a suburban familly car only with a small hauling bed in the back very weird south west weird chief red cream and you say this first incident occured in brattleboro vermont? burns: yes chief x and the next incident? burns that uh uh happen only this last week while i was out there near u in L A chief go on burns i was out there briefly for a pre production meet and greet you know they like those things be4 the big bucks start flowing it was for my latest project a twin tower thing chief no sense plugging here mr burns good luck brake your ass maybe if we have time we'll get to that later but about the attack ... burns oh ah ah sorry well there I was walking along and this same type of ranchero comes right at me thru an intersection stop light murcheson same type? burns yes only this ranchero was yellow a very vivid yellow chief go on burns just as i was uh uh uh returning to my rental car murcheson : and where precisely was that? burns' in the vip area next to the metro main lot off vine street jchief badger vip ? burns; uh uh sorry sorry the uh metro goldwyn meyer motion picture production studios on vine street has a VIP uh uh very imporatant persons reserved parking area next to the studio grounds the chief oh ! murcheson now mister burns could you to the best of your ability please describe for the committee the actions of this man when he went after you last week i mean this mysterious manoid creature you insist on calling devil bug burns insist? insist why thats thats what he calls himself... murcheson ok ok strike that then mr burns just tell uz what he did and what he looked like burns yes yes he's a big guy errh kinda sloppy lookin over weight i guess if you wanted to sneer you'd say he was a fatso chief thud a fat so ? burns yes chief red featurette go on burns well uuhh this last time here in la i got a closer look at him just as he was about to take his truck over the curb toi get me he swerved to avoid killing a small dog that broke loose from its owners leash and went for the trucks left front tire well the swurve caused him to rack up into a parking meter and well the jolt flew open the driver side door and this ah ah ah fat so kinda just rolled out into the street chief badger board really just like that flew out of his truck? burns yes flew out and kind of rolled some on the side walk and then sprawled there a second before he got up and started shaking himself like he was trying to stop his head from spinning and then he made like he was about to charge at me on foot aaahh but he musta thought better of it though cause instead he turned around dashed back and hopped in his truck got the thing restarted some how and took off towards the pacific mercheson ok but if he got that close you must have got a lprety good look at his face why no make on his face what was he wearing.. burns oh ya he was wearing this this brightly colored yellow and green striped hooded jersey and he had the hood pulled up over his head he he he had it pulled so tight there was only this small opeening maybe as big as a fist in the front jones: yes go on burns well uh uh uh he was wearing one of those great yellow smile buttons right there over where his face shoulda been jones; a smiley face button? burns ; yes yes a smiley face button about six inches across very creepy effect chair person brigit jameson malloy (interupting) : excuse me mr burns excuse me but are u telling this committee that this so called devil bug when he or it came racing at you here in la last week was dressed like dumb dumb the klown ? burns: dumb dumb the what ? uh uh i i don't understand... who's dumb dumb the the klown? to be continued........ -----------------------------------------------Posted by meat me at September 14, 2004 10:50 AM
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