defined screwing private rippers public plunder FRINGE FUCK part TWELVE the Dodo’s Dodo corporate defined benefit pension scams ------------------------------------ SURE IVE BEEN AT THIS A WHILE HERE BUT want to watch a flock of flightless fowl go thru the processor? check out private defined benefit pension plans if like me the smell of mass extinctions GETS YOU SOLID ---------------------------------- I think all this fringe fucking’s worth a post or two more cause brothers and sisters these gonzo bird’s carcasses are really starting to stink up the place --------------------------------------------- today i think we might try swimming thru the mud beclouded undersea demimonde of korporate defined benefit plans in a little detail facto one thanx to the bubble burst back there a couple years now today as i/ve yammered be4 the real play in defined pensions is strictly Uncle come bail my boat ------------------------------------------------ the bailer’s got a name too the Pension Guarantee Corporation or something like that its Uncle's mandated rescue outfit when private corporations' pension obligations thru no fault of management or thru total fault of management suddenly start lookin ass end up -------------------------------------- when as a for instance say some wayward profiteer outfit after “ fond goodbye roast ” scamper off leaving their pensioneers and potential pensioneers stranded at or near careers' end hanging with no one to keep the promised flow of payments comin their way well then bing !!! here comes Uncle samuel ------------------------------- the back story here is the usual tower boy bank shot bounce off the courts and drop the object ball in uncle's pocket keep it up till all or enough of all their real employee obligations are off the table and then " gentlemen lets restart the motors" get it a promise shuck get the shit off the books thru one recast or legal outfit morph or maybe a very specially created suicide setup just go ahead and throw the old bags of shit in there get the gist ? make old uncle buy everyone caught inside one of these rigged up gizmos a one way ticket to the pet cemetery -------------------------------- then again enter Uncle has its saving graces too i mean for the tower toddlers of course thank god there are a zillion doorways with uncle on the otherside of em the pride of the old socialized markets corporately speaking Uncle like the holy ghost everywhere ready and able to hold a barff bag for the dark towers' each and every puke out ---------------------- even more back fill the bigs were far sighted here in the benefit defining game from way back thirty years even they saw it all clear as glass puppies 1974 or so this super fund of uncle’s went into effect and god love the fucker its been there ever since day and night ready to kick in when some corporate pygmy decides or has it decided for him that " well hoss guess it's time to give it all up" hey hey think its a big joke ? listen up here Manual show some respect you may need to kiss this fund's ass yourself some day -------------------------------------- ok fine uncles on the job ready to roger but as the gal sez " sure mister but are ya big enough ?" good question can uncle's fund cover all the action ? same old aria isn’t it no matter which one of Uncle’s pockets you look into there's some fucking tiny green eye shaded guy screaming at the top of his pipes “ that fund's goin bust watch out that fund's goin bust ” yep folks this one too they ‘re screamin it “dangerously low a little more bed shitting by the corporate dandys and .............” I remember reading a number like 7 bills left inside and a potential exposure of 250 bills well who knows and frankly who cares the hackademic Panglossians et al hate like hell to admit this but AS A PRACTICAL MATTER uncle can borrow his way out of ANYTHING look at the S& L scuffle you saw numbers flying around there in the gobble gobble press like 800 bills qwack qwack qwack ended up costing after all was said and done what maybe 100 Bills CHICKEN FEED sports fans uncle needn’t blink pure chicken feed the lib fairies always always always just can’t get enough of waving their arms on high and dance down low about this but believe old pinkadink on this one it always pays to over play your hand where uncle's concerned so don’t sweat and please please try to keep your shirt on korporate meister would love to panic you into a rush thru door number three the one marked self reliance hold your water folks there's other doors way better for all of us to go thru ----------------------------------- so worse case SAY IT DOES BLOW I SAY HO HUM uncle will refund it he funded it he’ll refund it no private plans left to pinch it from he’ll just issue some t bills -------------------------- actually i wish a blow out would scorch a few of you suplicaters out there it would serve you bums right if you were STUPID AND UNLUKY ENOUGH TO GET CAUGHT OUT BY an okay doaky corporate flim flam i say too fucking bad after all who can feel sorry for some nubbly knuckled old soak who can’t hold a job anymore anyway where's the fast flowing away ice cake when ya need one face facts bozo to the rest of us you’re fucking scrap and let me advize you here if you're not right now making a pit stop if you're not really trying to get yourself rerigged for another run down the job ramp then take the gas pipe pal we can use the supplies you’re dead weight so box yourself and pronto ---------------------------- neeexxxxxxxxtttttttt ! --------------------------------- ps ok ok ok ok that comes off a little cold but I mean really who cares or at least who should care I bet guys boo hooing about a pension welsh prolly can’t piss standing up either tough luck so you got screwed we all do eventually that's gods plan next life pick a better boss ------------------------------------------ glad thats out of the way now aside from displaying my crisp and sleek lack of compassion here's what interests me IT WAS ALL IN THE FINE PRINT FROM DAY ONE -------------------------------------- dropping the burden of their promises all on uncle i mean dropping it on ole Sam’s head from the beginning seen like i said clear as glass by board room rooks everywhere lost the thread here ? ok i’ll go slow scene one anywhere you’d like to be in lower manhattan its circa 1972 korporate tower boys are in conclave working on the double over reflexive level i.e. game plans for game plans having waited his turn one fat young shit sez “ what if per chance we all get to a 4th and long some day you know what if some day down the road what if all these stacks and stacks of I PROMISE YOU DUBS this and i promise you dubs that what if they all start to creak the floor boards i mean really creak em like pre busto creak em you know what if some day WE NEED TO to to to UNPROMISE THEM dubs all these promises to keep from falling thru the floor YOU KNOW WHAT IF WE NEED TO PUNT the PROMISES DOWN FIELD ” then mr Big's top ass wipe suited to a T and chucklingly oh so ready with a quick and obvious retort sez “ dimples for god sake have you not heard of the new deal revolution my dear fellow please think here these dubs you mention why they have a friend down in the district of columbia these days this isn't silent Cals america anymore today its elementary we over play our hand get ourselves in a pinch WE JUST CALL IN OLD UNCLE SAMBO HELL FIRE UNC’S OUR GUY DIMPLES HE ALWAYS CARRIES OUT the HEAVY trunks for us DON’T HE BOYS ” LAFFS ALL AROUND ---------------------------------- and as luck and MEPHISTO would have it all these years later when the market popped in 01 time had come around full IT IS INDEED 4TH AND LONG all over corporate amerika AND TIME TO PUNT and punt they all have or soon will punt on all their fucking fool hardy light headed promises promises they signed on to way back when “ well nothing's for ever boys and these wind mills kep' em cool thru a few bumps didn’t ithey" --------------------------------- ponzi on gents ponzi on long be4 01 they knew where it would end but anyway.. take a jump BACK AGAIN this time only as far as 1990 or so board room chatter simmers down " OK guys ok ok so what's the loud music for i say so what so fucking what promises promises whos counting till its cash so what if a few bene rafts are drifting towards the falls thats what uncle and his funds for lets move on boys to more important things we gotta get cracking keep adding new tiers to the tower get me ? come up with a few new floats each day and big smeer if one our two sink long as we keep floatin more aren’t you up for it ? shit stuff like this is supposed to be the specialty of the house around here isn’t it ” --------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------- ok so now's uncles turn uncle and his fund lets hear the tower guys again 1974 “ perfect a fund a fucking federal fund no sweat long as we keep the pool rate low no sense over filling the fuck so what if it runs dry some day if and when it does the smart money gets to blame the federal bureaucrats ” get it ? make Uncle look like the real Welsher thats always smart policy cause uncle don’t give a shit anyway why should he care Uncle knows he's safe why ? cause uncle's really no body after all no body permanent anyway when it comes time to blame uncle it's always too late he's morphed into some other uncle new folks is uncle by then " long as those taxable wage klowns out there under us keep producing enough we can get it all borrowed on their credit anyhow" the great one waxes whistful " ain't this set up beautiful gentlemen each one of them little wagered farts ain’t worth a kopek all alone but start put em in 100 million units and you got some serious borrowing capacity thru their uncle's right of extraction and boyz think it's all ours to lever our deals off any fucking way we want aaahhhh glory be we kill em and then we bill em you gotta love those frikkin donkeys no one of em really thinks he's payin anything specific just everything in general ” this gets a round of laff laff laff ----------------------------- (now i know this post is going well past A.D.D. limits here) but tower titans demand to get a double pay out first get uncle to foot the bill and second blame the pointy heads down in the district for creating the problem sorta like blaming THE GERMAN DEFEAT in the Great War on the Jewish marxist home front back stabbers see how well that worked at least iN the right QUARTERS ( i e the lower middle quarters where the dickheads hang out ) lets hope in the end THIS BACK STAB MYTH spills less blood ------------------------------------------------- the fine print part ain’t all folks there’s another shoe to drop now its 1983 and still now the defined screw private part is humming along swell but suddenly god damn UNCLE'S OWN PENSION PLAN SETS OFF AN ALARM BELL THE NEW DEAL GEM OUR NATIONAL TREASURE THE FUCKING SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM IS IN TROUBLE WELL NOT RIGHT NOW BUT IT WILL BE IN 2013 THAT IS IT WILL BE IF WE DON’T STOP JUST PAYING AS WE GO ------------------------------------------- what a master stroke of miss direction just when it was way too obvious TO ANY ONE THIS SIDE OF A BELLE VIEW TUXEDO that the private plans of corporate america had prolly over promised their wagelings and that their own corporate pension and health plans were headed for serious trouble bam bam its not these fucking ponzi dinosaurs NOT these rigged up corporate pension plans that get the spot light no sireee the tower titans instead manage to spark off their double domed lick spiddle flunkys down in wash town all of a sudden the pointy heads are in a frenzy of fat finger pointing at the one sure bet safe pension plan all of a sudden the sky is falling just where it can't the one plan that come hell or high water can keep its promises is in danger of future default FDR'S PLAN ? Uncle Sams PLAN ? default ? what a fucking joke christ Uncle default no fucking way he hasn’t defaulted since Al Hamilton rigged the redemption deal in 1791 Uncle’s got tax power as i wrote earlier the right of extraction sure uncle could welsh but folks he won't ( now he could weasel if he so chooses but thats another post ) --------------------- so why the false alarm from the wally boys stooges? why the bum's rush ? why a blue ribbon panel ? (including that prize gay tuna the original new demo Patrick butt pilot Moynihan) and most off why did they pushed thru a rate hike in the payroll taxes right then and there ? well here's the two balls in one man jack of it this hike took wagelings earned dough and used it to cover cuts in uncle's take off of Richy Rich’s unearned dough ---------------------------- heres a stat for back ground 1950 corporate profit tax share 33% payroll tax share 10% fifty years later corporate profits tax share 10 % patyroll share 33% see this boys and girls profit tax wage tax 50 33% 10% 99 10% 33% thats fifty years of progress for ya a little gig i like to call TRICKLE DOWN TAXATION ------------------------------------------------- well fellas didn’t it keep the fiscal deficit from running into even higher digits and who knows maybe the fast shuffle gave uncle just enough added hot air to blow down the evil empire’s fortress of feathers ---------------------------------------------- thusly was one more otherishly lovely and bold chapter inked in the 50 year saga now called “ the great burden shift ” the shift of taxes off the heroic shoulders of america's enterprising elite and onto the sloping shoulders of the amorphic wage slobs and oh SINCE ITS TODAYS TOPIC while you’re at it SHOW YOUR LEVERAGE ACTION SHOW HOW YOU LEARNED HOW TO MAKE THE NEW DEAL WORK FOR YOU WATCH UZ throw OUR pensions on JOE AND ETHELS TAX TAB CREDIT LOCK ------------------------ ------- at any rate we got to stay focused HERE cause I got a POLICY CHANGE TO RECOMMEND FOR YOYO CONTEMPLATION THAT IS IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO WATCH FOX NEWS ------------------ SET UP for 20 plus years now we’ve heard how uncle LEFT TO HIS USUAL DEVICES will sure as hell blow his OWN retirement promise some day RIGHT AND just so it don’t all seem like hot air at irregular intervals our ever fuck friendly corporate occupation congress whacks wages at a higher rate and ups the cut off point so we can get a sense of the far far bigger sting to come now remembering what i wrote here above here's our answer scouts " fuck you fuck fuck you " " cut back our earners rate by 4 points and since its so fucking high now up the cut off limit to no limit " next take the reserve fund disolve it and distribute it into special iras for all of us inpayers and do it now i say cut SSI back to pre 83 and take it all out on the earners tax side not the employers payroll side fuck the booby twins act from now fuck on basically we should pay in as uncle pays out pay as we go not as we blow and while your up get the med tax the fuck out of the payeroll stream all together (but that too is another post) -------------------------------------- ps remember the tower boys story never changes cause its working the fucking tax burden keeps shifting from them to you for twenty years now its been the same old horror story UNC TO WELSH IN 2020 mean while corporate america has punted and punted and punted yes madam the real welshers never find the pillary awaiting them cause uncle's taking on their fucking bilge for them put it on uncle's tab will you Ruggles “ they’re billin you for screwing you you nit wits ” ----------------------------------------Posted by pinky at October 19, 2003 05:23 PM
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