House of Paine

the great diversion

the great diversion 
conversion reversion 

( part 2 of the kroogman follys)

according to a gaggle
of fog horn leghorns 
 the social security crisis
is  now well into its  third decade
and and and pant pant pant 

 fuck 
 my friends
I got to tell you 
 
this particular society rocking issue 
 like gay child birth 
AND  daylight savings 
is nothing but another
bad joke on a 
FOOLS  dance card 



----------------------------------------------------------------

 ivory tower wimps
 with big cravings 
 for boring numbers 
like our  Mr  Showtime here 
 love social security issues 

they can’t get enough of 
this
 SSI HORROR shakes 

   for one thing it  allows
 Der Apple Krugel et al 
 to spread their tiny waxened  wings 
and fly free
  thru vast caverns 
 of maybe yes 
and maybe no time 

thru years and years 
of possible nightmares
and could be should be 
 sunny sides of the street 

if you like scrabble
or dungeons and dragons 
this may well be just 
  your  stuff

if so 
get your green eyeshade 
and rubber thumb
 and follow me 
up ahead 
quiffs   get to play 
all the headliner  roles  

be a  mighty TAX  king

or soprano voiced 
Lady Bountiful 

 or popeyed 
 dyke finger Dick 

you name it 

its kinda like 
a Middle Earth for CPA’S 
----------------------------------------------

BUT
be4 we launch
i have a need 
to name call 
a need to 
 ZERO IN ON 
OUR GUY KROOG 
and shit stream him a tad 
--------------------------------------------------

the last three years
kroog has had a hardon 
for ole Bush2 

 i guess
third rate 
snake oil charmers
give him the fits 
especially
if they preped at Andover
and snorted up other peoples money 
with a silver spoon for 23 years or so 
then hit the public sector running 

just another instance of 
the old lemon socialism bit
you know
public services is where 
failed corporate elephants go 
to die 

but really folks 
ain’t you got some fondness
for audacity 
served up without a  wink 
or does it give ya 
the creepy crawlies 
-------------------------------------
 fave  melodrama

“ the perils of 
little miss Welfare  ”

episode one 

oh no 
oh no 
look Count Cheney’s 
lashing her to thebudget tracks 
oh no oh no 
here comes the gravy train 

episode two 


oh no oh no  
god her skulls directly in the path 
of  the ...............
 bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoink 

my lord 

hows about ceo heads on poles
as far as the eye can see

nope 
instead 

HOW ABOUT THIS 

  here comes the black hats
racin thru 
in their coach and 4 

FROM WITHIN COMES 
THE CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE
OF A DAMN EVIL GOOD TIME 

and suddenly 
whos face is that leaning out
 out the winder looking back at us 
its prez B 
 “ eat me you dickless  faggots 
hows about it Newt the fruit 
whos daddy now
you fucking custard pie ”
 -------------------------------
regrettably 
such Bush fortes 
 tickle not 
 the kroog funny bone 

it would seem 
“ lies are lies ”
and
“ theft is theft ”
whether 
its entertaining or not 

seemingly 
audacity alone 
 sheer depraved self distructive hubris
showered audacity 
will not move his pinched heart 
to mirth 

the stink of deep corruption 
hath not a whiff of 
 redeeming sardonia 
not a whiff 

 the babe !

see it 

 bald face lies
 are way way way 
badder 
then  floating  wafffloes
 like
say a  gyro joe  Lieberman
 blows out his ass twice daily 
-----------------------------------------------

 bottom line 
i bet kroog   prefers
 playing the lighter   keys
 
but the damn
Bush  pirates 
won’t let him
 
he’s had to wet hen off 
and cluck cluck cluck 

my guess
 at hidden heart 
this barely self aware
 priss
    would   sorely
love to dress in satin purple 
and  act witful 
 be an Oscar Wilde
DON’T SEE HIM 
braking  a Ming jar over 
some old sows head 

YES 
WHAT WE GOT HERE
UNFORTUNATELY 
IS NOT 
A NIT AMONG WITS 
BUT A WIT AMONG NITS
 
AND 
Bush won’t let him
even be that 
no he’s got to fight 
the friggin  fight
 
all alone at the top of the heap 
at that  relentless  prayer tower 
of gliberalism 
the new york times op ed page 
--------------------------------

loving the  end times horror
as this goon ride careers 
toward the yellow brick wall 
the gallows mirth of it 
takes a bill murray i guess
to crave such a meal 
not a kroopple ganger 

 watching and loving 
the sour irony 
as bush inc 
administers 
a grotesque beating 
to the might as well be blindfolded
rubes of this country 
all the time 
in thick lipped lispery 
yellin

“  take that whitey 
  this ones for slavery
 and this ones cause 
your daughter can’t blow right ”


 HL Menken USED TO 
love such stuff

but for kroog 
that would be irresponsible 
it would be mean
 aweful
unworthy 

“ this country
 has been very very good to me ”

no 
from inside the 
safe closet of his quenched
greek letter ambitions 
kroog 
has chosen to  celebrate his arrival 
with a little risk free 
  Darin’Do Right 

zooming away 
into 
 the forever amber
 




 its really the old pud pull 

 the old and tedious 
 crass struggle

the gowns
lording it over
 the hounds
giving them 
a real tweeking 

harmless really 
 
but kroog’s lovin it so 
 its obscene 

imagine taking no risk
what so ever 
retelling the oldest stalest tales
and getting trumpeted
from sea to shining sea 
as  Captain fucking   Courageous

 if its about 
poking  BARBED WORDINGS 
at  the likes of 
 Green spam
and 
Count Chaney 
and
 that egregeous  pudge puddle 
Rover boy Karl 
big fucking deal 
 tight pants 


and from an august
bi weekly perch 
 at the NY times no less

get bent 
by the way your hair line is way to low 
and thats a checker players beard 
you got there pally 

 “ don’t forget your scarf 
   paul ”
 “ yes mummy ”

----------------------------------


I HATE ANYONE 
WHO HASN’T THE STOMACH
 for  coming reckonings
HASN’T THE THICK HIDE 
FOR 
upside down
  inside out reckonings

 no kroogles fantasy world 
has to be  whistle clean 
no savage bloody gutter there

gut spilling 
come upins
the true RX 
for a ship of fools
 like the one docked down there on wall st 


nope
no 
TWITCH OF DELIGHT
outa kroog 
AT
pointless  torture 
 cone caps and ball kickings 
blood on the
 corporate  carpet
so thick its tasty

in a phrase
if and when 
the  wage  badgers finally 
 get down 

kroog ‘ll puke 

and thats why 
he’s no match 
for the likes of
  the reverend Moon’s 
   quill goons 
fuck they puke at nothing 
 give em the green light they’d
do the throat slittin themselves
long as the fuck 
was well tied down 

face off 
kroog and the hard right 
no contest 
they’d have his cubes wired 
to a generator 
in a nanosecond
----------------------------------------------------


bottom line
our boys  a Tommy Smothers
its  1967 again 

  ask no more 
from him 
then 
what he can give 

  silly Janus
Ivy clad   godlings 
like him once
events have thrust 
them into the lime glare
 despite the hopes of millions 
of little good people out there 
his best is a funky   Chicken 
 a
cluck and quake act  
a nit pickers Samba 

HES WARING THE HEAD FEATHERS  
AND THE FACE PAINT 
BUT YOU CAN 
FORGET THE SCALPING PARTY 

FUCK HE WON’T EVEN REALLY WAR DANCE 
 no way with his first class mind 
will he go loco in print 
no  turn apon turn here 
no senseless descent 
 into frenzy and 
 recklessly foolish
states of impervious 
irresponsibility 

gonzo is 
not Kroogs bag baby 
-------------------------------------------------
getting back to 
todays topic

 if we were to  put 
Kroogs  entire  output
 on the social security crisis
  in a lockbox 
and  bury the fucking whole bizness 
 in a highly radiocative dump site 

 well plainly wonkworld 

it would be Pareto optimal

we dirt balls would 
 all be no worse off

 and his readers would 
all be way  better off
------------------------------------------
 despite what i just wrote
here’s a side bar to
 kroog a doodle doo’s
ZILLION 
 columns on SSI
the old 2-1=3
or is it 4-2=5
 
ya won’t ta just scream 
“ kroog stop fighting it
        out 
do the slouch
lighten up ”

feature this
next time 
little georgie 
sez the private investments 
will out perform the trust funds 
 next time he throws up that floater 
“ look at them trust funds 
 stuffed  with ho hum t bonds
 nearly no return there
hell wall street can give ya 7-8 %
 compounded 
the present trust funds 
what maybe  1% ”

instead of letting the crap 
 drive
ya  crazy
kroog
slap it out of the park 

sure 
bush is eyewashing 
so what 
so what if he’s 
leaving out the fact 
the trust funds actually yield 
a safe t rate of return 
sure all this  one percent stuff 
is a tricky  fiddle 
 its Enron stuff in reverse
come on this
 bag of tricks fooled 
the sucker funds foot soldiers 
why not the whole country 

 Bush Volk know 
shit moves like this 
like they know 
their wives charge card
balances 

 you got to blow past the dinks here
even the press lads
 know that 1% is crap 


even they can grasp 
that the system is taking
 most  of the in coming 
dough these days to 
pay benefits  
they know from pay as you go 

shit kroog 
even wage wimps themselves 
know todays pay packet extractions
mostly go to 
current beneficiaries
and they know they’re going 
to get screwed 
either way 
down the road 

yes Press MONKEYS 
don’t like to calculate numbers
 just replicate them
yes they’re  
like illiterate monastic scribes
yes they don’t care to understand 
anything 
they’re writing down 

PAULY ME BOY 
they ain’t got the time 
deadline’s  a comin’

so ofcourse 
they’ll never push it 
or ask around too much

besides its all too boring
anyway 


fine
so YOUR RIGHT
AND IT IS PATHETIC 
THE PRESS GANG CAN’T EVEN 
 tackle
A  stumble prone
 klown like B USH 
in the open field 
if he just starts 
 spewing numbers 
he cuts thru em like 
a spoon thru hot butter 

then god damn it 
 WHY IF THATS SO 
 aren’t you 
fucking bolder 
try a little real fancy foot work

 why don’t you 
suggest we  quick fix 
the whole deal today 

 suggest we 
start throwing
 the whole tax take 
into
personal accounts right now 

CATCH  MY DRIFT 

so what

 for fuck sake 
the helots  can’t spend it
like real money 
it isn’t  theirs till its due 

these are public   accounts
load em up
 whats the diff 
so uncle puts some 
T bonds with
accurate payout 
  maturity dates
in everybody’s personal account 
(  make these puppies
zero coupon deals 
with  a higher future value
use the going t rate)

see the ease  of it
weird beard 

uncle gives everyone an account 
stuffs in paper with a long fuse 
and uses the real cash 
to  pay  present obligations
and what else ever comes up 

just like uncle does now 
only in long  pants this time 

and heres the kicker 
remember 
now people  got bonds 
in their accounts 
and they can start trading 
for stocks say or gold 
or what ever store of wealth 
they prefer 

“  choose 
 your own poison 
boys and girls ”

not bad eh ?

in fact 
go for broke  paul 
 fully funding
everyone today 
 retroactively
why should only the young 
get to have all that
 fun and fortune 

makes sense

hell the japs and chinks
are taking t bonds nearly at scratch 
to hold down
 their exchange rates 
we oughta 
borrow the max 
now while rates are low 
you know find out once and for all
where the fuck 
those butterheads 
ooch point’s at 
see when the fucks blink 

after a couple three
 gooble goobles 
the stock  market will boom 

fuck 
what am  I saying 
the stock  market will  boom 
jesus jerry lewis 
 all markets will boom 
 even product markets 

 the wealth illusion  effect
 will be amazing 

forget the house mortgage
bubble 

imagine 
for christ sake

the fucking global economy 
is demand constrained 
right now 

imagine every plebhaus in amerika 
OUT BUYING THEMSELVES
 a below ground pool for the kids 
 a skidoo for pop 
and a sable coat for the Misses 
and 
all cause they suffer
 from wealth illusion 

you got to love that idea

could get bigger and better

I SAY 
think 
THE  FUCKING 
OKLAHOMA LAND RUSH x 50 

I’ll repeat the key feature of reality here 

pay as you go
 or fully fund 
whats the diff

as long as you have 
practically unlimited credit 
like Uncle has
you can play it either way 
and win 
------------------------------------------------

OK OK I’VE HAD MY FUN

 
it ain’t strictly 
just a little different
 book keeping is it paul 

there’s a real difference here 

 
bonds are an obligation  
not just a promise 

and thats an obvious no no 

cause 
 maybe just maybe
ALL THOSE 
MANDARIN WIZARDS
DOWN THERE IN THE DISTRICT 
OLD UNCLE SAM 
NEEDS THE ABILITY 
TO WELSH ON HIS DEAL
 
right paul 

  down the road
uncle  needs 
lets call it 
“  the flexibility ”
 to screw  
“ retroactively ” 
latter-day 
SSI benefit cohorts

MAYBE
you univacs got it figured that way already 
maybe its already a  for sure !!!!
 already in the bag 

  working stiffs 
now getting the old 15% 
day lights pumped out of them 
are in for a snooker 

maybe uncles just playing 
the old keep them slappy 
till the white truck arrives bit

seems all the Xers
 figure as much anyway 

well yes paul 
if so 
 bonds are out 

 uncle  can’t
 be  issuing
obligations today 
obligations 
 that bind him  
such as bond issues bind him
and expect to jump the tab down the road
shit thats default
and who knows who’ll be holding 
the fuckers by that time
certainly not the asshole 
originals 

then again me thinks 
 a little
 not worth a continental 
buy low redeem at par scam 
could be worked here
ala Alex  the bastard 
CIRCA 1790 

fuck our whole fucking 
 constitution 
grew out of that fiddle
didn’t it 
talk about the invisible hand 
chew that a moment patrons  
and then tell me
 you don’t feel like flying 
to Montgomery 
---------------------------------------------

some how I can’t here kroog 
turnng on his collegues and screaming 

“ why you dirty fucking ass licking 
 doubledomers  you ”
 
 THAT DEAR FRIENDS 
IS  THE SKINNY 
krug still wants peer love 
--------------------------------------------
to recap

sure enough 
as things stand now 
 its STRICTLY LEGAL 
  to cut
future  benefits so they sure as hell will 

 fuck welshes like that 
 got a pedigree
as long as the republic’s right arm 
 
face it 
 deals made 
 with the wageling klass 
are designed specifically 
  for easy escapes
 
the fucking stooges 
you don’t even need fine print
 to pull it off

-----------------------------------------------
shit sisters of mercy 
history sure does 
 repeat itself 
 again and again and again 

 cross generation 
 contracting 
is beyond caveat receptor 
 fuck cross 
generation  contracting
is always 
doublecross  contracting ?
 
as my dear father often said
about marriage
“ its like a treaty   with  indians
  its meant to be broken   ”
----------------------------------------------------------
so kids thank god you know it 
and still 
take your medicine
 
SSI for  Xers 
is  just a pious fib 

 so go ahead say it 
and keep saying it till
you off our asses in 2021 
during the Nostradamus predicted 
  nights of DEATH AND DELERIUM 

KEEP SAYING TO YOURSELVES 

“ YOU POINTY FUCKING HEADED
BOOMER CREEPS ”
---------------------------------------------------

WE’RE no diff 
working for Uncle 
then working for 
 the board room Bullyboys 
 already screwing 
our own boomer era wagebugs 
out of promised
private corporate  benefits 

you can take my word
as both a boomer and 
 a convicted fraudster myself 

Xer losers listen up 

 UNLESS YOU KILL ALL
 BOOMERS 
nothing good can happen to you 

what ever uncle promises you
its for us he’s doing it not you 
uncle will wiggle out of it 
use his 
sovereign immunity
  save the public credit 
over your destitution 

bottomline

all you  under 40 
  hourlyslaves
ought there giving your 15% 
out of the pay stream each week 
towards a  toil reduced  future
your fucked 
and
remember assholes 
 you can’t get it back once its gone 

Dracula’s running the blood bank 
and he was born in 1956 
 
and honey bun 
there’s 
NO LOCK BOX 
-----------------------------------------------
god fucking shithole 
got to go 

fellow critters i love you all 
but its time 
to sell a mattress 

I’ll just leave you with a nag/moral 

watch the guys with the clean finger nails 
 the tweed jackets and the soft graying beards 
 its really
the likes of  kroog here 
with the mellow voice 
and mastery of differential equations 
 who ‘s  hiding the real ass rod 
from you  bum skidders out there 

guys like him 
despite their
 knight of the good fight 
self billing 
  have a higher authority then decency 
they must answer to 

their god is 
their own success and fame 

 if they have to they’ll help 
 Uncle screw you 
just as much 
as hacksaw Cheney would 

their fear is to end up just like you 

fear of submerging into the ordinary marl 
thats  ambitions brimstone
they’ll kill to stay above 
the common muck 

yep 
you kin count on it 
little fellas

iffin they have to 
they’ll git ya 
everytime  
----------------------------------------------------