March 05, 2003

hire out army 1


   the use of a professional armed force
 by the u.s. commander in chief
 needs
popular consent
 right
 this is a 
democracy
right
congress
needs to give the ok
when ever
the public purse needs to be used 
right 



well here’s an honest way around
the whole   popular consent
business




perhaps our troops
need the
 legal ability to 
 bill
 the beneficiary
directly

  if we find
some clever well heeled lobby
trying to
 railroad the  government 
into unleashing 
our warriors
 so they can pull off 
some kind of crafty 
private treasure grab
 
damn it 
thats mercenary stuff
right

so  i say 
pay up gentlemen
stand and deliver
every thing’s
got a price
so whats it worth
to you
if you’re
picking up the tab


check this out now
they come up
with the funds 
before hand
 pass the hat
maybe they
do a telethon
 hire Jerry Lewis
and Geraldo Rivera
if its worth it to them
why the fuck not

 you got some 
bizness needs 
armed wet work
sure 
just
 COME UP WITH IT
 and if per chance

 there ‘s
 a public externality
 an actual public benefit
 we’ll match you
 out of the public purse
 to the extent of that benefit

the motto 

no free rides

not  for special interests
and not 
for  general interests either 

ok to use 
 conscription  dollars
for general benefits
but its got to be 
subscription dollars 
for special benefits
--------------------------------------------
corporations
listen up
heres the upside

no need to build private armies 
anymore 
why bother 
when Uncles already got 
 the greatest
and now it
can be yours for
the right price

-----------------------------------

if the oil boys
need a cheap refill 
 or  shaky setups like the 
  rip offs now running of Senegal
 need a prop up 
call Uncle 

  want a special detail
 for a clean up or 
clean out somewhere
 and   the u.s.  Congress
 see no conflict 
with our national  interests
and values

well partner
just
dummy up
and our troops are at
your disposal

we’ll     even
 give convenient 
payment terms
 stretch it  out
 slow it down
you name it
we’re easy
and by the way 
we can be confidential
 no  one i mean  no one
will know till
you’re already eating  their breakfast 

     got a problem 
 needs a forced entry to solve 
 we got the worlds best answers
 so come on in 
 and lets get it on 

whatever works and is consistent 
with your payment history
  and other obligations 

  need protection
 need seizures
anything fair and
anything square
and we’ll
take the assignment

but
remember
in case you got any
funny ideas
about skating on the bill
our  guys can do
 a pretty fair job 
of collections too 
so don’t even think
about stiffen’ old Sam 

----------------------------------



  speaking of restructuring

 maybe we need to go postal 
on the structure

make the arm forces
 just 
like the postal service
and amtrack
 cut them loose
 tell each arm to float 
on your own  fat
at  least in peace time  

do that
 and bam watch out 

they will sure
 as the devil has horns
start to improve 

first off they’ll 
learn to market 

yep market baby market

learn to 
create  armed formations
with  some sex appeal for once 

custom assembled
   ready to roll
  full service 
all arms expeditionary packages

 and each one  available today 
 at  a
one time only
 special  just for you 
introductory  rate
---------------------------------------

heres how it
could  work 

  back stage the brass
 submits  to congress 
 a pay as you go based
 MSP (minimum  subsidy plan)
 to cover the peace time  public good 
value of their services
 and  also a FIB 
(force investment budget)
To fund 
 all  capitol expenditures
  procurement of arms 
 building facilities
   R&D  
recruiting and  training
etc etc etc 

you ‘ll be amazed
 especially if a nice portion
of the savings 
  recycles
into  a top brass only 
incentive  pool

 yes they’ll do their damnest to  make
 operations better
 then self funding

 through value based service fees 
and privitization of support
functions
why Senator 
the sky truly is the only limit 
 think
  about this a little 
you may
relieve the american taxpayer
 of a huge chunk of the defense nut 

who knows how much 
 
take the marines my old out fit
 under the  new mandate 
 they could  cover themselves
completely
  no subsidy at all 
 they can do it 

 let them   charge the gov like anyone else 
for  example they supply 
  us embassy security
  thats easily made chargeable 
 hey theres a sure  kill mission 
mr gookface 
how would you like to see
a us marine out your window
each morning
guarding your hiney
u.s. marines guarding everyone’s hiney 
they ‘re  the best
 make em availible 

 how about trying on
  this   selling point 
for size 

why not use  us jar heads 
 we’ve  safely  guarded  the  world’s 
number one ogre for 200 years   
we  sure as hell  can protect
 little old you

third world second world 
you name it 
its like 180 squared
thats over 32,000 locations to guard 
 and we’re just talking 
one location per country per country 
  god even a 60% market share .......

 besides it would do  wonders for 
 global stability 

 it can work 
hell its already worked
  
exhibit a  

gulf war one 

that little sucker 
 paid for itself 
 didn’t it 
paid for itself 
and then some
 and I’m not talking   
  just incremental costs either
  no sir 
  desert storm cover 
her  full burden plus 

 ok so a  kuwait doesn’t get grab bagged
 every six  month
 one word  for you 
retainer 
  put the lambs on retainers 
besides 
 if the askings slow
  you can bet the brass will proact
 propose an action

  why not
throw a proposition out 
to some big credits
  those jap corporations 
they got overseas dreams 
don’t kid yourself
-----------------------------------

besides 
 step back a moment 
hasn’t it been time for a change
any way 

todays forces face it 
strictly pork city

designed to stomp 
a 50,000 tank
blitzkrieg 
across the plains of  germany

today whats that all about 
what the hell 
if they’re coming 
the soviets 
will be driving yugos 
bring ukrainian sluts
and spreading incurable prison TB

 and how about our 
5,000 war head  missile launch
 on moscow 
and all points  
 north east  south  and west of there 
 for a thousand clicks
talk bust bin a history 
  forget about it 
mission accomplished
the jobs done

ok so you ‘ve 
 quaked for 10 years over this 
  change over 
 ya  called it 
the big bang  restructuring
 the real neutron bomb
you got to write off 
  40 years of hard ware
 you’re still  carrying 
 on the books 
so what 
just do it 
now the neat new forces 
are going to cost you 
peanuts in comparison 

 this time around 
 collecting from
 the free riders out there
maybe uncle himself
ends up paying 2/3  less
per force dollar 
 imagine cutting defense
costs  by 65%
 and losing nothing 

 thats hundreds of 
 billions of dollars 
 
keep that or 
put it  back 
in the right hands 
 and it   buys a lot of fun , padre 
------------------------------------------
bottom line
if you ain’t a yankee doodle 
its a dangerous world out there
 
so you got to get yourself 
 the proper protection
right


we could even
offer a battle ready
  force to the UN
itself
saint fucking Woodrow 

hell work this right 

and we just might 
 find ourselves
 fighting  ourselves

Jesus Goodness and Glory 
collect on both ends

not all that new really 
most times when things get hot 
we’re already getting
 our own  equipment
 shot back at us 

 so sister whats the diff
  who cares 
if down the road 
a fellow american
 is pulling the trigger

i can tell you one thing 
no real warrior is going to care 

 after all he knows  the  best combat
has always been  a fair fight

hell
look at the fucking civil war
now that
 was a real scrap

Posted by pinky at March 5, 2003 10:19 PM

Post a comment

Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)

(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)


Remember me?