House of Paine

our little secret

you like 
the Mall Moore rein deer romp

THAT'S ONLY THE SURFACE 


here's our real plan 

 the mall thing is nothing but 
a cover story 

 its a  hoax
 a lie
 an Alan Funtery

 IT'S WALMART
 WE’RE
REALLY REALLY 
 AFTER 





-------------------------------------------------
first to update you on

 the mall thing

as i expected 
Moore’s on board

my e-mail said 
in part 
“ Mikey please reply next 48 
if not interested
  got  tim robbins  in the wings ”

 its been 60 plus since sent 
no response 

MOORE’ S  IN 

  SO FAR so good 

 I’m   thinking 
 in terms 
    reality show producers
never get to 
the greedy cynical fucks 
they miss the tension 
in illusion/reality stuff
 cause they fucking lie 
for real so fucking much 
they got a tin ear 
to   the old pro wrestling
  gimmick 

 is it real
 or is it  
 FUNTOREX 

they fucking haven’t a clue
what's real anyway they say 

but fuck them 
in this case
 I’m steering toward 
the hoax that exploded scenario 

 we’re  handing  the Korpys
 a box of stinker cigars 
that actually
 whoops 
blow sky high 

my god my god my god 
flaming hell boss face 

  heres the Funtory part 

 we  let ‘em see all
let the bosses in on it 
 like the fourth wall is glass 

 show the wigs
 what's going down 

they love a savage joke 

they’ll 
love its cruelty 
 
we’re foolin these dumb kids

crossing  every one's wires

and some of us 
 don’t know 
ourselves
 like  the dips around 
Moore
none of them know the score 
  the joke's on them
the gray weasels 

see it's simple 

WE’RE TEACHING 
THESE YOUNGSTERS 

 A LESSON IN 
CLASS RECONCILIATION 

THEY DON’T KNOW 
IT BUT THEY’RE 
 tapped
  survailed 
 
we’ve got a secret
 everyone out there knows 

only the players are in the dark 

get it 

 you know ratings

 then on d-day 
the day the mall 
 IS SUPPOSED TO COME 
 tumbling down 
 we reveal our real plan
FIRST THE MALL COPS RAID THE CRASH PAD 
SEIZE THEM ALL 
THEN 
THE BOSSES RUN IN 
WITH THEIR
PARENTS
 ALL FLOWN
 IN EVEN MOORE'S
WORMY LITTLE PROGENITORS 
SURPRISE 
MERRY XMAS 
----------------------------------------

 but here's the fast ball 
as this is going on 

we’re taking  down Walmart

the great white of retail sharks 

 the mall eater 
the killer of all and sundry 

the big box  
Kategory OGRE
  
all along 
Moore’s op is 
a PATTON type fandango 

a dunkirk diversion 

the whole mall prank 
is a slight of hand
miss direction  farce 

take the eyes off the real play 

while Mighty Mikes clowning 

 we and the union dons 
are readying 

 A TAKE DOWN 
 OVER AT 
YOUR LOCAL WALMART 

we hit them 
with a  once and for all 
KNEE TO THE NUTS 

the best planned 
nation wide action
since cool bill Foster's 
1919 steel rumble 

  every Walmart in america 
slammed shut 
overnite 

 the king pin of commercial america 
boinked  

12 months in the planning 
 and 
executed like
 Stonewall at Chancelorsville 
like the forts over Dresden 

Walmart left a blazing 
labor dominated
   high pay patsy 
--------------------------------------
back ground 

 walmart Amerika 

it's the run up to Xmas 

a lot of seasonal hires 

Wally 
meet the raw folks
 from hell 

 Wally's guard's down
the usual anti union 
 wringer is on the shelf

these are temps 

with temps you 
nail the fuckers 
and fling em out 
come new year 

here's the catch 
won’t be so easy
 this time 

hire 
 squeeze
 and toss 
nope 
 not this time assballs 

our mighty flock of 
 raw ones 
get jobbed 

by a we’ll
take any one 
 Walmart
during
 the  late november staff surge 

and they act friendly 
get to know folks
 work hard 
and just 
sit tight till 

on signal 
all at once 

 they attack 

what a  freak
 no what a  super freak 
 

 its 
 Xmas time at the walmart 
and suddenly on a fever high 
Saturday BE4 THE BIG DAY 
 the raw ones are pouring
  into every store office 
 right to the co ‘s inner sanctum 
and
demanding 
 imediate contract signatures

handing the fat fuck joker 
the most air tight
 pro wageling contract 
ever crafted 

every clause every phrase 
every  word the collective  product
 of   the finest  progressive  legal minds 
 on earth  

slap bam boom 

 this full nelson contract 
 is on  
on every store managers desk 
and at the same time
 all over america

and they’ll 
BRING  CAMERAS

“ SIGN THIS OR 
WE SHUT YOU DOWN ”

 THAT'S THE TICKET 
AND NO SWEARS EITHER 

STRAIGHT TO CONTRACT
TODAY OR TAKE A 
  SIT DOWN STRIKE 
 
A WILD ASS OCCUPATION

IMAGINE ............

“ AND  AS YOU LEAVE 
 THE BUILDING
 SHOPPERS
  AS A COURTESY 
FEEL FREE TO 
TAKE WHAT YOU WANT
 
COMPLIMENTS
 OF THE WALTON FAMILY 

BUT PLEASE NO CARTS 

TAKE ONLY
 WHAT YOU CAN CARRY 
IN TWO ARMS 

AND 
PLEASE 
DO NOT  RUN 
AND 
DO NOT FIGHT

THERE'S PLENTY
 FOR ALL OF YOU 

REMEMBER 
THE WALTON FAMILY
LOVES YOU ALL
MERRY CHRISTMAS 
AND 
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING 
AT WAL MART ”

 what do you think 

“ pops if I were you 
I’d  sign right here ”

we got everyone ready 
to SIT and 
on  a farts notice 
 everyone 
hear me everyone 

even your fucking wife’s
WITH US 

in fact she's planning to
put out for us
in the break room 

so what ‘ll it be
 Pilot 
a glorious  gang bang 
or your johnny Hancock
right here ”


 admit it suckers
there’s magic 
in this old silk hat i wear